Normally, I Am Blessed with a joyful and optimistic attitude. For the most part, things still get me down. Usually. For the most part.
I’ve spent almost a week with building frustration. Most of the frustration is directly aimed at my own self. I am really angry at my seeming inability to do well in my “History of Deaconesses” class. For whatever reason, I have not been able to get above 85% on the exams. I’m doing everything wrong on my papers.
… And my brace is still uncomfortable…
… and I’m not getting any better at driving my new wheelchair… (Which, by the way, was giving me fits with charging — not holding a charge. I first noticed that little difficulty when it dropped from 100% charge to 97% charge in the 30 feet from my bedroom to the computer. It seems to have resolved itself, but I don’t know the cause or how it repaired self… so I’m not confident.)
… And Dragon NaturallySpeaking needed reinstalling. Three times.
… And my computer was acting up.
By Monday, I was in full-blown anger and frustration. At myself and at technology. If I was on my feet, I would have just found 10 acres and dropped off the grid. (Back when I used to read “Mother Earth News,” there was a book I kept threatening to buy, “10 Acres and Independence.”)
By Tuesday, I was back a little bit… at least laughing at myself.
As part of my FIELDWORK class, I’m memorizing a hymn, “Why Should Cross and Trial Grieve Me?” I’m finding it to be useful in my own life. The second verse is especially meaningful right now. It starts off:
God gives me my days of gladness,
And I will trust Him still
When He sends me sadness.